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Tuesday, 2 August 2016

Princess Health and August 2nd, 2016 Despite Myself. Princessiccia

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August 2nd, 2016 Despite Myself

Today was one of those days where I wasn't planning on it becoming what it did. It was a busy day! It was a great day--but highly involved! From morning on, I was hitting on all eight--took a little slow down late afternoon, then ramped it up all evening. Don't let the exclamation points mislead you. I'm not necessarily proud of my sometimes tilted scheduling.

I've eaten dinner too late two nights in a row. I've never set a time limit or deadline for my meals. The last food of day happens whenever it happens--the last meal of day, same thing--I've never been hung up on the "I can't eat after this time." I'm not saying it isn't bad for me to eat so late, I'm simply saying that obviously, having lost over 300 pounds and now maintaining for almost a year, it hasn't kept me from continued positive progress. The "too late" designation is less about the food and for me, more about the meal crowding into what I need to make my sleep time, on a more consistent basis.

Lord knows this trek of mine hasn't been and never will be perfect. I've said it many times and I'll say it again--The pursuit of perfection is the quickest detour to disappointment. There's a long list of things I haven't "done right" along the way. And here I am, despite myself. 

I'm full of gratitude this evening. I want to say a big thank you to Certified Life Coach Kathleen Miles for being a fantastic partner in our teleconference support groups. Our next session is completely full. However, Coach Kathleen is accepting new One-On-One clients! If you're interested, email totalkathy@aol.com




















We had another special guest speaker tonight. Michael Prager delivered his story and a message of sustainability to our group. If you're not familiar with Michael, I highly recommend his books, Fat Boy Thin Man and his latest, Sustainable You.

Link to purchase Sustainable You- https://www.createspace.com/5997216

Link to purchase Fat Boy Thin Man-
https://www.createspace.com/3473067

Today, I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained abstinent from refined sugar, I remained heavily connected with great support and I met my water goal.

Continuous Accountability Live-Tweet Stream:
































Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Monday, 1 August 2016

Princess Health and August 1st, 2016 Worth It. Princessiccia

Princess Health and August 1st, 2016 Worth It. Princessiccia

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August 1st, 2016 Worth It

I couldn't turn my brain off last night. I had too much on my mind. The car issue was just one of a few. I made the decision to take a sick day today. I just wasn't feeling well. It wasn't an illness--but it was needed. You know? Some days--sometimes, we just need a day we can simply rest--get recentered and adjust our perspective. I needed it and I took it. And it was worth it. I'm worth it.

We had a special event guest speaker tonight on the support group conference line. Dr. Marty Lerner was incredible in every single way. Dr. Lerner's free e-book available at Milestonesprogram.org is titled "A Guide To Eating Disorder Recovery." I highly recommend!

I had the pleasure of being introduced via phone to Dr. Lerner years ago by Life Coach Gerri. He actually wrote the expert review of my book. If you have a copy of Transformation Road--his review is on the very first page. What's interesting to me, is, in that review, he alluded to possible trouble ahead, without saying it--and he was right. His expert review was glowing and wonderful for me, but also foreshadowing of events to come.

Without saying it directly--it was as if he knew what was likely coming. And boy did it ever come. But as I've said before--that 164-pound relapse/regain was exactly what I needed in order to reach where I needed to reach, to see what I needed to see--accept what I needed to accept and once and for all, give it a tight embrace.

I wish I could write more tonight. There's so much I have to write about! But it's too late. I tilted my schedule and day when I slept in so incredibly well.

I will not end this post without confirming...

I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained abstinent from refined sugar, I stayed connected with solid support, I exceeded my water goal and I enjoyed a wonderful workout at the gym.

Continuous Accountability Live-Tweet Stream:




































Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Sunday, 31 July 2016

Princess Health and July 31st, 2016 Until Today . Princessiccia

Princess Health and July 31st, 2016 Until Today . Princessiccia

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July 31st, 2016 Until Today

A wonderful thing happened today. I enjoyed a nice visit with my 84-year-old neighbor. For two years we've exchanged small talk in passing. She somehow knows more about me than I know about her--I suppose the neighborhood conversation might have brought me up a few times. But I never made the time to stop and listen to her, until today. It did my soul good. I just asked questions and listened. She was so generous with her story and wisdom. Now I know her.  

I had a great visit with mom late afternoon/evening and of course, we dined at our favorite Mexican place. On the way home, wasn't so good. My car started having issues. It's acting as if something's clogged in the exhaust system. I'll be taking it to the mechanic tomorrow. After pulling over, turning the car off--allowing it to sit for awhile, then finally starting back and driving super slow all the way home--I'm here. It's late, but I'm here--without needing a tow truck!

Today, I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained abstinent from refined sugar, I exceeded my water goal and I stayed active with fantastic support connections. It was a solid day in many ways.

Continuous Accountability Live-Tweet Stream:
































Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Saturday, 30 July 2016

Princess Health and July 30th, 2016 The Best Time. Princessiccia

Princess Health and July 30th, 2016 The Best Time. Princessiccia

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July 30th, 2016 The Best Time

I stayed exceptionally busy today. I wasn't necessarily planning this, it just seemed to develop. I spent some time at the studio catching up on some things before heading home and freshening up for an evening performance at the Playhouse.

It's late and I'm thoroughly exhausted.

I don't post too many micro-blogs on Facebook like I once did, especially since I returned to daily postings on this blog almost two and a half years ago, but today was an exception. Now is always the best time!



Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget. I remained abstinent from refined sugar. I stayed well connected with support. I met my daily water goal. I made time to prepare some great food. I accomlished some good work at the studio and I enjoyed a live production. It's been a great day!

Continuous Accountability Live-Tweet Stream:


























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Friday, 29 July 2016

Princess Health and July 29th, 2016 Every Single Ounce. Princessiccia

Princess Health and July 29th, 2016 Every Single Ounce. Princessiccia

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July 29th, 2016 Every Single Ounce

"Do you think you're obsessed with food? With the pictures, the tweets, the time and effort it takes to do all that is a lot. Do you think it's necessary?"

 This isn't the first time I've received questions like that. Just today, a colleague questioned how long it took me to weigh and measure the ingredients in the beef fajita salad I assembled at lunch. They were done eating before I took my first bite. It contained quite a few ingredients! "I think I know why you have so much trouble with time management. Look at how much time you spend before you eat."

From the outside looking in, I get it. If I intentionally position my perspective as close to theirs as possible, I can clearly see how these daily disciplines I make important, might look obsessive, unnecessary and a big time drain.

When I think about the dark depths of a 164-pound relapse/regain and where that experience took me, mentally/emotionally and of course, physically--and then I compare it to the peace, calm, stability and continued successful maintenance mode and healthy weight I enjoy today, I realize how what I do in the process of honoring my food plan and accountability measures is, without a doubt--worth every single ounce of effort.

I don't think about what I do as obsessive, unnecessary and a big time drain. I think of it as mindful, necessary and time well invested in my extraordinary care.

In the fog of food addiction with the constant compulsive over-eating, I wasn't able to fully appreciate and be present for anything. In the intoxicated state of gluttoney, everything real and important in my world, lost its shine. The only thing special was my next fix, my next binge, my next escape from experiencing the realness of life. That, to me, qualifies as an obsession, very different than what I do each day in the process of honoring my plan.

The daily disciplines I embrace today, have helped open my eyes to life experiences in ways I once completely ignored. For once in my life, I'm present. Do you realize how much of my daughter's lives and my marriage I missed all those years ago? I wasn't present. I'll never get another chance to live that life and experience those special times, ever. All I can do is forgive myself and embrace today, because now...

I no longer miss out on life. I no longer center all of my attention on food. I have my clearly defined and non-negotiable boundaries and I eat well within those boundaries. And since my life is no longer measured by how much food I'll get to eat, I'm free to explore life and everything in it--everything around me--family, friends, my work--my dreams, desires--it all comes to life in vivid color, outside the fog of my former existence.

Until I started losing weight consistently in September 2008, I didn't realize how many events in my life were saturated in memories of the food involved instead of the actual people, places and things that made the event special.

One of my biggest full-body before pictures (below) was taken in November 2007 at the broadcast for the Oklahoma Centennial Celebration in Guthrie, Oklahoma. This was a big day, a big broadcast at our state's 100th birthday. We were broadcasting in the media area, so there were reunions with former colleagues--I know there was, but I can't remember who. We were featured in a parade after our broadcast along with dignitaries from our part of the state, but I don't remember any of their names or faces on that trip. But I do remember...

The convenience store trip prior to the broadcast where I purchased a big sugary soft drink and Little Debbie Nutty Bars. I remember the sack full of sausage biscuits during the broadcast. I remember the restaurant stop on the way home--and my specific order: The biggest chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes covered in loads of white cream gravy with extra hot rolls and butter. "Extra," because I remember raving about the rolls and how they were the best hot dinner rolls I'd ever tasted. I asked for a few more in a to-go box, so I could share them with others back home. (Of course, that was the lie I told to get more rolls for me. Sure--other people need to know how good these rolls taste!) I seriously doubt those rolls survived long enough to see any other face but mine.

photo D554A67D-38D9-4D27-B927-82D5D1A5D919_zpsf3xlwqmi.jpg
I always did my best to smile and project a jovial spirit. The mismatch between how I really felt and what was projected, was enough to keep me a million miles away from any kind of sustainable weight loss success. Constantly trying to maintain something you're not, in my opinion, turns the "something" into an infection that spreads and eventually kills everything in its path.
photo thumb_IMG_4317_1024_zpsnhwsar5a.jpg
Joy Bauer took this photo of me right after my Today Show appearance. I don't remember what I ate the day of the show. I couldn't tell you anything about breakfast, lunch or dinner that day. I could make a pretty good guess--and of course, I could check the Tweets from April 11th, 2016 if I wanted. But the point is...

I was too busy living life fully present, fully in awe--and full of gratitude for it all.

Obsessed with food, today? Nope. But I once was.
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I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget. I remained abstinent from refined sugar. I exceeded my daily water goal. I stayed actively connected with support. And, I enjoyed a great, albeit late, Friday night workout.

Continuous Accountability Live-Tweet Stream:


































Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Thursday, 28 July 2016

Princess Health and July 28th, 2016 Just The Same. Princessiccia

Princess Health and July 28th, 2016 Just The Same. Princessiccia

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July 28th, 2016 Just The Same

This has been a very challenging day. Part of it was made challenging by the schedule I kept yesterday and the other part was made challenging by Mother Nature. As you may or may not know, part of my job as a broadcaster, aside from the fun part as a morning show personality, is doing live-on-air weather coverage when storms move through our listening area. When unexpected weather coverage activations happen, my job requires total flexibility. And having total flexibility, for me, requires good planning to make sure I have what I need, where I need it, when I need it.

I took exceptional care with my food today. I pursued support interactions, not because I was struggling--but there was enormous potential for struggle. Exchanging good support isn't something that only happens in crisis mode. One of the many things I've learned from Life Coach Gerri is the importance of reaching for support when things are going great, too--because then, it's much easier to communicate when things aren't going great.

In between weather coverages, I made a nap important and ended up oversleeping that much-needed nap. It tilted my day/night and runs the risk of spilling negative effects into my Friday. I'll be extra aware of this potential throughout my Friday. Fortunately, I have a very light schedule tomorrow through Sunday, so I'm not too worried--but always aware and well connected with support just the same.

I sincerely appreciate the fantastic response and all the questions about the next 8-week conference call support group sessions I'm co-facilitating with Life Coach Kathleen and Life Coach Gerri. The sessions starting August 8th and 9th are full. If you're interested in being on the team in future sessions, I'll certainly share the information when the next session draws near in late September.

Today, I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget. I remained abstinent from refined sugar. I stayed well connected with support connections and I met my daily water goal.

I will now do my best to sleep. I look forward to getting more over the next few days.

Continuous Accountability Live-Tweet Stream:






























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Wednesday, 27 July 2016

Princess Health and July 27th, 2016 Awareness and Practice. Princessiccia

Princess Health and July 27th, 2016 Awareness and Practice. Princessiccia

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July 27th, 2016 Awareness and Practice

I usually pass on sharing the "Facebook Memories" that occasionally pop up when I log into my facebook account. But today's, from four years ago, held a lot of truth. The fact that I shared the thoughts below, very near the beginning of my 164-pound relapse/regain period, is sobering. This further illustrates how none of us are ever immune to going back. All we have is today's awareness and practice.

July 27th, 2012:
I post a bunch of reminders, ideas and perspectives on weight loss here. I do it in hopes of helping someone, anyone who might relate and identify with the challenges along this road. But that's not the only reason. I also post these for me. My continued recovery depends on my awareness AND practice of elements critical to my success. I gain inspiration and motivation from you and I sincerely appreciate your incredible support. Choosing change isn't a temporary diversion, it's a practice, an ongoing education about ourselves and what we need to enjoy the rest of our lives free from the physical and mental restrictions of obesity.

I sincerely appreciate the wonderful feedback about yesterday's post. Regular reader, Vickie, offers some valuable insight:

"Wanted to add what I call the "loop" to your sugar conversation. I have seen many people think they are okay with sugar because one sugar does not lead to another sugar. Instead, they have a loop going with sugar-salt-fat. So ice cream might lead to potato chips which leads to fried chicken. In any combination. So they THINK they are okay with "everything in moderation" because ice cream does not lead to ice cream. But ice cream is the start of a trifecta. And the loop can continue, just rolling on, once it gets going. This is a really important point."

Thank you, Vickie! That resonates very well. It wasn't just sugar for me. The sugar might have created the biochemical reactions--and it led straight to all kinds of things in excess--just like you describe, the high fat items, the salty snacky items--more high fat stuff... It certainly wasn't ever exclusively a sugar thing. Sugar lit the fuse on the loop, as you put it--over and over again. Well written, my friend.

Natalie adds:

"I totally agree with you and I think this is me. I don't like a lot of sugar, in fact, if I eat something sweet I often feel a bit "yuck" and "over-sugared." I certainly don't turn to more sugar, so for a long time I resisted thinking sugar was a problem for me. But sugar makes me want salt/fat to "balance" it. Then after that maybe something a little bit sweet to finish off a meal. Then... and so on.

Actually for me, I'd say it's all simple carbs rather than just pure sugar. Anything that is quickly converted to sugar in my blood. 

Knowing all this hasn't magically made it easy to change though. Many failed attempts to change my diet, still working on it."

Natalie, I think we're a lot alike. Aside from ice cream, I never really considered myself a "sweet things," binge eater. When I write or speak about how the sugar led to "more more more," I'm referencing anything and everything, not just sugar loaded things.

My binge behavior often involved ice cream, yes--lots of sugar and fat in ice cream--but mostly these behaviors involved lots of fast food items, hot convenience store deep fried deli items, pizza and other non-sweet things. But the "loop," as Vickie put it, makes sense. I can clearly identify how it would start with super doses of sugar--from the ice cream or several bowls of sugary cereal or whatever it was...whatever came next could be anything and everything and for who knows how long before I tried to reign it in enough to try again.

When I combined the very real biochemical induced compulsions of addiction with my deep seeded dependence on food to buffer every emotion and stress, it was the perfect storm for me to remain a 500-pound man and continue a life plagued by stunted emotional growth.
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The support groups I cofacilitate with Life Coach Kathleen and Life Coach Gerri are almost sold out for the next session. We have two remaining spaces for the regular Tuesday night group. If you're interested, email me at: Transformation.Road@gmail.com and I'll reply with a link to register.

I've regularly shared about the groups and my partnership with Kathleen and Gerri--but tonight I wanted to once again introduce you to Kathleen's blog if you haven't discovered it already. It's very powerful, incredibly inspiring and very real. Rather than me telling you about Kathleen's epic trek, I'll let Kathleen's writing tell the tale. I'll say this--it's a powerful testament to what's possible when we decide to choose change instead of allowing change to choose us. I hope you'll check out her blog: www.totalkathy.com

Today was busy, but very productive. I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained abstinent from refined sugar, I exceeded my daily water goal and I stayed connected and active with tremendous support interactions.

Great day. I'll give it a go and shoot for the same, tomorrow!

Continuous Accountability Live-Tweet Stream:






































Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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